The Ultimate Guide to Destination Wedding Etiquette
Photography by Courtney Bowlden Photography
Destination weddings have become more popular over the last few years as travel has been increasing, and many couples desire to turn their wedding into a full blown experience with a more intimate group of family and friends. However, with destination weddings comes some unique wedding etiquette that may differ from a local wedding. We are here to teach you the do’s and don’ts of destination weddings, whether you are a guest, or you are tying the knot.
The Destination Wedding Basics
Let’s first start by talking about what a destination wedding is. A destination wedding is a wedding that takes place outside of a location that is local to the couple. Many people think of destination weddings and immediately think of travelling to different countries or continents, but destination weddings can happen in the same country (and even the same state). While the definition of at what point a wedding turns into a “destination wedding” can vary, we often consider it a destination wedding after three hours of travel by car. Destination weddings have a high appeal to them because they allow the couple to travel and explore a new area while also celebrating with loved ones. You are able to explore the best parts of Tuscany before your rehearsal dinner, or lounge on the beach in Mexico right after the arrival brunch. Some popular destination wedding spots include Lake Como, Tuscany, Paris, Tulum, and Puerto Vallarta.
Destination Wedding Invitation Etiquette
With destination weddings invitations, you may be sending out a smaller number of invitations as what you would be sending out for a local wedding, as destination venues either can accommodate a smaller number of people, or you want a more intimate experience. The higher cost of being a guest at a destination wedding also means you will have a lower guest count than a domestic wedding, but for those who did make the invitation list, you may be wondering what the differences are when sending out invitations. For a destination wedding, you will need to send out save the dates and your invitations earlier than for a local wedding. For save the dates, we would recommend sending them out as early as fourteen months prior to the wedding day so that guests are able to begin thinking through their plans for the following year. When it comes to the invitations themselves, while two to three months is customary for a local wedding, we would recommend sending out those invitations four to five months prior to the wedding date so that guests can begin to book flights and hotels at reasonable rates (if they haven’t already). You will want to make sure that the return address on the invitation RSVPs is your current residence, and have those RSVPs due 45 to 60 days before your wedding date, rather than 30 days before like you would for a local wedding.
Destination Wedding Guest Etiquette
If you are a guest who has been invited to a destination wedding, congratulations! Your friends/family want to celebrate their love alongside of you in a place that is meaningful to them. When attending a destination wedding as a guest, there are some added considerations you will need to make. First of all, make sure to RSVP as soon as you possibly are able to so that the couple knows that you will be able to attend. For example, if they are renting a villa for all of their guests, they may need a final number sooner than they would for a local wedding. If you are RSVPing yes, make sure you learn early on what the expectations are regarding accommodations. Some destination weddings are able to rent out villas or castles that double as both the wedding venue and the accommodations for family and friends, but this is not always a guarantee. If staying offsite, take into consideration the cost of travel to and from the venue in addition to hotel cost, and see if there is a hotel block that the couple has created for their guests to all be staying in the same location for a reduced rate.
Destination Wedding Dress Code
Similar to a local wedding, destination weddings will have dress codes that will differ on the venue and environment. Having a destination wedding at a villa on Lake Como may mean that the dress code is black tie with a neutral color scheme, while a beach wedding may have a resort cocktail dress code with linen pants and a short sleeve button down. Like a local wedding, the dress code should be specified on the invitation or the wedding website. If the dress code is something simple such as “cocktail attire,” make sure to keep in mind the climate of where you are traveling to. Wearing a sleeveless cocktail dress with wedges may be perfect for a wedding in a tropical location, but may leave you freezing at a mountain wedding in Vale. If you are going to be traveling for several days, make sure to account for multiple events, such as a welcome reception, the wedding day, and a post-wedding brunch, plus casual drinks by the pool or snorkeling with the couple, and pack accordingly.
Destination Wedding Gift-Giving Etiquette
Giving wedding gifts is already a tricky field to navigate, and can be made slightly more complex when a destination wedding is involved. Luckily, with the rise of online registries, and fewer couples desiring gifts, this can be a simple process. When packing for a destination wedding, the last thing that you want is to figure out where in your luggage to fit a blender for the couple. If the couple does have a registry, it is often customary to purchase a gift as a form of welcoming them into their new marriage. However, if you are spending money on travel expenses for a destination wedding, this becomes a bit more tricky as you are already investing in celebrating them. Because of this, many couples do not have registries for their destination wedding, or if they do, they are often for experiences or for individuals who want to give a gift but cannot attend the wedding. If you are attending the wedding and they do have a registry, purchasing something within your price range is often a nice gesture, but if you are unable to spend the money travelling to the wedding AND on a gift, a nice card wishing them well will suffice. If you do choose to give them a gift, online registries are wonderful because many of them will allow you to ship the gift directly to the couple’s home. If you are the couple who is having a destination wedding, consider not having a registry for guests who are traveling to the wedding as they are investing in being present on your wedding day.
Destination Wedding Thank You Cards
As a couple, the art of the thank you card is important during wedding festivities to show appreciation to the people who helped celebrate you. It provides recognition for the time and effort put into purchasing a gift, traveling to the wedding, and helping make your big day come together. This is especially important for destination weddings where additional investments are made by guests to be present on your wedding day. Because of this, writing a thank you card for ever person who gave you a gift AND for every person who attended your wedding is highly recommended so that you show your appreciation. And, if you are a guest receiving a thank you card, send the couple a text saying you received it and you are so glad that you were able to help celebrate them.
Destination Wedding Planner Etiquette
Destination wedding planners are essential for the success of your wedding day, whether they are local to the rea that you are having your wedding, or they travel in for your wedding day because of their expertise when it comes to planning weddings in a variety of locations (like the Émerveillé Events Team). Each planner will have their own systems and processes for communication, but here are some things to keep in mind to maintain a respectful and productive relationship with your destination wedding planner. First of all, you should keep time zones in mind. If they are located in a different time zone from you, communication back and forth may have some natural delays, and they may need to be some compromise on meeting times so that one of you is not having to take a meeting at four in the morning. Similarly, if your planner is located in a different time zone from where the wedding will be taking place, there may be some delays in communication as questions cannot always be answered by picking up a phone, but rather may have to wait on an email reply when the other party is awake. Next, make sure to provide your planner with as much notice for in person site visits and meetings, whether you are visiting where they are located, or you desire for the planner to travel for those visits and meetings. This ensures that travel plans and schedules can be prepared for as needed.
Cultural and Local Etiquette
If you are having your wedding in a different country, or in an area that has a different culture, you want to be respectful of local customs. While this will vary from location to location, the biggest piece of advice we can provide is to do as much research beforehand, and then provide your guests resources so that they are able to be educated on respecting the local culture. When having a destination wedding, guests will often be excited about experiencing another culture, so incorporate it into your wedding day in a way that appreciates and celebrates the culture while remaining respectful. If you want to know what information will be helpful to provide to your guests, we would recommend starting by answering the questions we have curated below:
What language is spoken at the destination, and what words in that language would be helpful for guests to know ahead of time?
What dining customs should guests anticipate at the destination?
What is the culture on tipping at the destination?
What foods should guests be excited to try that they may not have access to back at home?
What dress codes should be followed when in public (or specific locations, such as visiting cathedrals) at the destination?
Whether you are attending a destination wedding as a guest or are getting married, there are some special considerations to have in place as everyone is traveling in. We hope that this guide was helpful, and if you are looking for a destination wedding planner, reach out to Émerveillé Events today to get started.
